My blog entry for today is actually part of a larger initiative of more than 50 bloggers posting simultaneously today on the topic “Bridging the Gap” between various groups of people on the topic of faith and sexuality. I would encourage you to check out the host blog (and the links to all the other synchro-bloggers). Go to http://www.btgproject.blogspot.com

Among the people who are blogging today are Christians and non-Christians, both gay and straight. Among the gay Christians, there are people who support Side A, Side B, and/or Side X. (I’ve discussed that terminology in previous entries here on my LiveJournal). For those of you who found my blog through the host BTG site, you can scroll back through all my blog entries on Scrabble and find other entries regarding my faith journey).

The base question is this: “How can we embody mutual honour and respect in our conversations and relationships with those with whom we disagree on the topic of homosexuality?”

I am an openly gay man who holds to a Side B belief (i.e. I affirm my orientation to be homosexual and still hold the conservative/traditional view of the bible, wherein I believe that sexual intercourse is a gift from God, reserved exclusively for a married couple, and no one else – and further that marriage is a gift from God, reserved exclusively for one man and one woman, and no one else.

As such, as you can well imagine, I am in a very small minority in the gay Christian community (let alone the gay community as a whole).

Some of my dearest and closest friendships have been made with Side A gay Christians on GCN (http://www.gaychristian.net ). I had a post here on my LiveJournal a few months ago in which I said that even three years ago, I would have said those people were all condemned to hell. How arrogant on my part that was! Yes, I (still) disagree with their theology but I have journeyed alongside these brothers and sisters in Christ (yes, that is what they are!) and count it a privilege to call them my friends. Heck, I’ve even had my own theology challenged from time to time and am grateful for it.

I’m really blessed to be part of GCN (as mentioned above). The leadership there (Hi Justin!) often takes great pains to make sure that both Side A and Side B are full partners in this online ministry. Not easy at all when you consider that the “balance” of Side A and Side B is actually about 95% to 5% (in Side A’s favour). But bridges are being built there. As I said, my closest GCN friends aren’t even the other few Side B’ers I know, but Side A’ers.

The Church (capital-C) today is truly in a quandary. Even as a Side B’er, I’m often misunderstood by churches. They somehow assume that even by the very fact that I affirm my orientation as homosexual that I’m already living in grievous sin. It’s pretty difficult to educate churches on this matter. Heaven knows that even I used to see only two possible options – (1) pray the gay away or (2) totally embrace pro-gay theology. Neither seemed plausible to me. I tried option #1 for 15 years to no avail. I sometimes wish that I could sit down with church pastors in various denominations that I’ve been a part of – denominations that would only affirm the “ex-gay” (Side X) stance and nothing else (read: “pray the gay away”) and tell them my story. That’s where the first bridge needs to be built. I’m willing to bet that these churches as well believe that my two options listed above are the only possible ones. If they heard my story, maybe they’d understand there’s a “third way” (i.e. “Side B”). But that’s a long time coming, no doubt.

I can barely imagine how many other men and women there are sitting in conservative churches and who have “suffered in silence” and have never been able to share their “struggle” or “journey” with anyone. It makes me weep. It’s a story that needs to be told. Far too often, sadly, what happens is that the person walks away from faith altogether. One of my closest gay Scrabble friends did just that – grew up in a solid Christian home, came out of the closet, and has since completely rejected his Christian faith. Way too sad. How do I act as part of the solution so that this doesn’t happen with other gay Christians?

How do we tear down those walls? Last time I looked in the Yellow Pages, Joshua and his trumpets weren’t available! LOL!

It starts with an open and willing heart. And probably an addiction to caffeine (i.e. meeting for coffee!) Being purposeful of choosing to make the time, sitting down, and journeying with people. I tell my story and engage them in hearing theirs. Iron sharpens iron, right? Where is that? Somewhere in Proverbs, likely.

I confess, however, that I used to be guilty of finger-pointing at my Side A brothers and sisters because I don’t agree not only with their theology but with their relationships (i.e. monogamous same-sex marriages). But, to quote a Side B sister of mine on “that’s wall terminology.” Boundaries might be proper, but walls never are.

I remember one year at Advent, while lighting the candle for “peace” having a pastor say from the pulpit these words, VERBATIM: “You’re either part of the solution or you’re part of the problem. What are you, a peacemaker or a shit disturber?” I kid you not. The pastor actually said those exact words from the pulpit.

I came out of the closet a little more than 18 months ago at the age of 39. Since then, I’ve had to be purposeful in being part of the solution.

I know that at least two Side A GCN’ers have LiveJournals and are reading this. Hear me, brothers. There needs to be more solutions and fewer problems. Let’s journey together. Let iron sharpen iron. Two are better than one (Ecclesiastes). Let’s bridge the gap.