On Friday after work, I will be meeting “Person X” downtown Toronto for supper.

After supper, “Person X” and I will be going to the theatre to see “The Sound of Music” together.

After the play, “Person X” and I are going out for dessert.

After dessert, “Person X” and I will return back to my apartment, where “Person X” will spend the night.

I am in no way related to “Person X” (by blood, that is), nor is “Person X” of a completely different generation than I am. In fact, I met “Person X” on the internet.

Does that sound like a “date” to you?

My blog entry for today is actually part of a larger initiative of more than 50 bloggers posting simultaneously today on the topic “Bridging the Gap” between various groups of people on the topic of faith and sexuality. I would encourage you to check out the host blog (and the links to all the other synchro-bloggers). Go to http://www.btgproject.blogspot.com

Among the people who are blogging today are Christians and non-Christians, both gay and straight. Among the gay Christians, there are people who support Side A, Side B, and/or Side X. (I’ve discussed that terminology in previous entries here on my LiveJournal). For those of you who found my blog through the host BTG site, you can scroll back through all my blog entries on Scrabble and find other entries regarding my faith journey).

The base question is this: “How can we embody mutual honour and respect in our conversations and relationships with those with whom we disagree on the topic of homosexuality?”

I am an openly gay man who holds to a Side B belief (i.e. I affirm my orientation to be homosexual and still hold the conservative/traditional view of the bible, wherein I believe that sexual intercourse is a gift from God, reserved exclusively for a married couple, and no one else – and further that marriage is a gift from God, reserved exclusively for one man and one woman, and no one else.

As such, as you can well imagine, I am in a very small minority in the gay Christian community (let alone the gay community as a whole).

Some of my dearest and closest friendships have been made with Side A gay Christians on GCN (http://www.gaychristian.net ). I had a post here on my LiveJournal a few months ago in which I said that even three years ago, I would have said those people were all condemned to hell. How arrogant on my part that was! Yes, I (still) disagree with their theology but I have journeyed alongside these brothers and sisters in Christ (yes, that is what they are!) and count it a privilege to call them my friends. Heck, I’ve even had my own theology challenged from time to time and am grateful for it.

I’m really blessed to be part of GCN (as mentioned above). The leadership there (Hi Justin!) often takes great pains to make sure that both Side A and Side B are full partners in this online ministry. Not easy at all when you consider that the “balance” of Side A and Side B is actually about 95% to 5% (in Side A’s favour). But bridges are being built there. As I said, my closest GCN friends aren’t even the other few Side B’ers I know, but Side A’ers.

The Church (capital-C) today is truly in a quandary. Even as a Side B’er, I’m often misunderstood by churches. They somehow assume that even by the very fact that I affirm my orientation as homosexual that I’m already living in grievous sin. It’s pretty difficult to educate churches on this matter. Heaven knows that even I used to see only two possible options – (1) pray the gay away or (2) totally embrace pro-gay theology. Neither seemed plausible to me. I tried option #1 for 15 years to no avail. I sometimes wish that I could sit down with church pastors in various denominations that I’ve been a part of – denominations that would only affirm the “ex-gay” (Side X) stance and nothing else (read: “pray the gay away”) and tell them my story. That’s where the first bridge needs to be built. I’m willing to bet that these churches as well believe that my two options listed above are the only possible ones. If they heard my story, maybe they’d understand there’s a “third way” (i.e. “Side B”). But that’s a long time coming, no doubt.

I can barely imagine how many other men and women there are sitting in conservative churches and who have “suffered in silence” and have never been able to share their “struggle” or “journey” with anyone. It makes me weep. It’s a story that needs to be told. Far too often, sadly, what happens is that the person walks away from faith altogether. One of my closest gay Scrabble friends did just that – grew up in a solid Christian home, came out of the closet, and has since completely rejected his Christian faith. Way too sad. How do I act as part of the solution so that this doesn’t happen with other gay Christians?

How do we tear down those walls? Last time I looked in the Yellow Pages, Joshua and his trumpets weren’t available! LOL!

It starts with an open and willing heart. And probably an addiction to caffeine (i.e. meeting for coffee!) Being purposeful of choosing to make the time, sitting down, and journeying with people. I tell my story and engage them in hearing theirs. Iron sharpens iron, right? Where is that? Somewhere in Proverbs, likely.

I confess, however, that I used to be guilty of finger-pointing at my Side A brothers and sisters because I don’t agree not only with their theology but with their relationships (i.e. monogamous same-sex marriages). But, to quote a Side B sister of mine on “that’s wall terminology.” Boundaries might be proper, but walls never are.

I remember one year at Advent, while lighting the candle for “peace” having a pastor say from the pulpit these words, VERBATIM: “You’re either part of the solution or you’re part of the problem. What are you, a peacemaker or a shit disturber?” I kid you not. The pastor actually said those exact words from the pulpit.

I came out of the closet a little more than 18 months ago at the age of 39. Since then, I’ve had to be purposeful in being part of the solution.

I know that at least two Side A GCN’ers have LiveJournals and are reading this. Hear me, brothers. There needs to be more solutions and fewer problems. Let’s journey together. Let iron sharpen iron. Two are better than one (Ecclesiastes). Let’s bridge the gap.

OK, so now there's a new twist to what I just wrote about earlier today.

I got home from work this afternoon and there's a message on my home answering machine from my doctor's office.

For the first time in my life, I have high cholesterol. And my doctor wants to see me back in his office next week or the week after at the latest. I've never had problems with my cholesterol my whole life... but now it's high.

First I have to radically change my diet just to help me sleep better and be more alert during the day... and now, well, it looks like it'll be double whammy.

Ain't turning 40 lovely? For those of you who haven't yet... look out!

So, I've made a pretty radical decision. I've been absolutely exhausted the last few months. No matter how early I get to bed, I don't get enough sleep.

If I go to bed early, then I'll wake up at 3:00am and not get back to sleep. Or sometimes, I'll just go to bed and toss and turn for hours and not fall sleep until the wee hours, and not get enough sleep. Then I'm tired and sluggish all day at work.

After consulting with my GP, there are two things that are taking place.

First, I'm on medication that will help me sleep. It's part muscle relaxant and part anti-depressant (and not habit-forming either).

Second, and this is the bigger one: I need to radically and totally change my eating habits... in major ways.

1. No more fast food. None. Zip. No Mickey Dee's, no pizza, no KFC, no fast food. Period.

2. I'm going to cut pop (soda) out of my diet completely, and in particular caffeinated ones (Pepsi). I'll be drinking a lot more water. A LOT more water.

3. No more junk food, especially greasy foods like potato chips (and for those of you who know me well, this will be a big sacrifice – I love chips!) Same thing with most cookies and other junk like that.

4. A LOT more fruit and vegetables. It’ll mean extra prep time making meals, but I’ve got to make some big changes in my diet.

The Pepsi is being cut out immediately. The rest of all those foods I’m weaning myself off of until what I have in the house is eaten up. Then everything changes.

Anyone who has known me long enough will know that I'm a big fan of Garfield comic strips.

Today, June 19, is Garfield's birthday. He's 31 years old... not bad for a cat, eh?

The unthinkable has happened in the last year. Jon Arbuckle, the nerdy eternal bachelor has a girlfriend!! Simply amazing. I'm actually hoping it lasts.

Here's to another 30 years Garfield... Jon... Odie... Pooky (the teddy bear)... Liz (Jon's girlfriend)... and all the rest!

It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty, delta day...

Anyone else know the musical reference to that line? It's one of TWO songs that use "The third of June" as its opening line...

Can anyone name them? Come on Andy, you run music trivia... you ought to know these...

Well over a year ago, possibly close to two, I started suffering from severe Scrabble burnout. I was studying upwards of 1,500 flashcards a day, and if I ever got behind, it became unmanageable. I was behind in my studying for my seminary degree and, quite basically, was doing nothing else but study Scrabble non-stop, even late into the evening just to keep up. And, as I say, I burnt out.

I had to make the difficult decision to move almost 7,000 cards into what became called "the backlog". I took all the cards I had with a "5" or "7" at the bottom (that's part of my study system for those you who aren't Scrabblers), put them in a box and put them aside. The vast majority of them were four- and five-letter words, along with some of the JQXZ six-letter words.

Back in January 2009, I decided that the time had come to start sorting through those cards and start gradually reintegrating all those cards back into my study system. I added about five cards a day all through January to May. I realized that I would take me well into 2010 to reintegrate all the cards. And since I was already adding new bingos to the mix as well, it would become unmanageable again before the reintegration was complete.

So, starting June 1, I will be taking a new tack on the backlog.

I sorted all the cards into five different groups: three-letter words (about 300 cards), four-letter words (about 1,500 cards), five-letter words (more than 5,000 cards), four-voweled sixes (about 100 cards), and JQXZ sixes (about 700 cards). I also found a grand total of seven cards that were bingos. Those seven bingos I added back in right away.

Then came the decision of how to integrate these cards back, and at what rate.

Starting June 1, I'll start with the threes. Integrating five cards a day, it'll take just two months for all those cards to be put back into the system.

Then I'll put the sixes back in, again at about five cards a day. That'll take me to December 2009. That'll just leave the fours and fives.

I should note for my non-Scrabble readers that the vast majority of the three-, four-, and five-letter words are already in my study system. I used to know them all cold (even the fives). But some of these words I haven't seen in two years, and I really have forgotten most of them. Working the JumbleTime puzzles does help, mind you.

So we'll have to see what I do in 2010 with the rest of this backlog. I'll likely "further sort" the fours and fives, starting with the ones with JQXZ, and then the high-fives, and go from there... but again, we'll have to see.

I'll be glad when I graduate from seminary next May (2010) and then can devote more time to Scrabble in all its forms (i.e. working on more than just my word study). But I've made the conscious decision to focus on what I'm doing for now.

Yes. Two in fact. The first was on ICQ about a decade ago. He was a member of the Screen Actors' Guild (SAG) and lived in California. We're about the same age too.

The second is a college kid (so 20 years younger than I am) who put me on his friend list on Facebook.

I have to admit that I’m pretty pleased with my results of the Oshawa tournament this weekend.

After finishing last at Silly Saturday in Mississauga last weekend, and losing 90 rating points, I felt like I really needed to have a solid performance this weekend or I would have seriously considered taking that extended sabbatical from Scrabble again...

I finished 8-4 +417, taking 3rd place and pocketing $75.00. Not bad at all.

Game 1 – Anna Miransky

My outrageous phony of the tourney came in game one. My rack was DEEOSX? The only seven I saw initially was EXpOSED. It wouldn't play. After several minutes, I played DesOX(I)ES* through an open I. Both Anna and I knew that DESOXY was good. She didn't even hold the play. I got some good chuckles when the Outrageous Phony prize was announced for my division but andysaunders took the prize with his NONDEAL*. (The question is... DEAL or NONDEAL*!) I also bingoed with TREATED Anna challenged RAThOLE late in the game. I already had a 200-point lead at that time. 1-0, 482-255.


Game 2 – Trevor Sealy

Trevor and I had a close game until I bingoed with (R)IVETING. I should have played EVITING, hooking the G to the top of RIDE. I then bingoed with INSTROKE later. Trevor emptied the bag with six tiles on my rack and I went out with CROUTE. 2-0, 376-353.


Game 3 – Andy Saunders

This was the game where I shot myself in the foot. At turn three my rack was AAEJST? SEAJAnT would have played, but instead I chose to play JAG for 233 points leaving AEST? figuring I'll get a better bingo on my next turn! YEAH RIGHT! On my next rack AEESTY?, YEASTED wouldn't play and played off YEA for 24, leaving me with EST?. I proceeded to draw nothing but junk consonants (not even one vowel) for eight more racks, trading four times. It was somewhere in the middle of that I burst out saying, "Can't I get f***ing lucky just once?" I wasn't until turn 13 that I played OUTEaTS. But by then Andy had more than a 100-point lead. I wrote at the top of my score sheet: "JUST PLAY. SH** HAPPENS." 2-1, 305-424.


Game 4 – Steve Ozorio

Steve used to be a 1700 player but doesn't study much (if at all) anymore and has dropped into the 1300-1400 range (but doesn't belong in Division 2). He ultimately won the tournament. I bingo early with ANNELID and then DILATION (he blocked my other bingo – CONIDIAL). The score at turn 10 was 280-279. But then I attempted VERID* which Steve challenged. And while I drew nothing but consonants the rest of the game, Steve made plays of 30+ four turns in a row. 2-2, 350-428.


Game 5 – Lisa Kessler

A tough opponent whom I have beaten at club but never in a tournament. I held Lisa on NABE and ROPEY but let both go (good thing, they're both good). I played QUAG early in the game in the bottom left corner of the board. Lisa extended it to QUAGMIRED* for 66, which I did not challenge. The game was tight until then, but the Lisa ran away with it. Had I challenged, who knows. 2-3, 315-406.


Game 6 – Maddy Palazzo

I bingo first with ENTREAT and she comes right back with SHEETING. I drop an "x bomb" with PIX for 59, and then REALIsE for 64. With VERY good tiles left in the bag, I still elected to empty the bag, playing EVZON(E) for 28, giving me a 95-point lead. Mad's final rack is DINORP?. PONIARD would have played but she didn't know the word. She attempted ORPINeD* which I challenged off and then went out. 3-3, 427-298.


Game 7 – Kevin Turner

One of my favourite opponents. Kevin studies probably as much as I do, so I know his word knowledge is solid. I open with GRAPH for 30 and he plays HADJEE from my H for 34. My next rack is FISHED? I didn't see either bingo DEAFISH or REDFISH or the 8 DEALFISH though the A in GRAPH. But I played off FISHED for 60 points, hooking my S to HADJEE, with the F on the TLS through a DWS. Two turns later my rack is ACOPS??. I hunt around for a bingo that will hook the S to GRAPH and puts the C or the P in the sixth spot on the DLS. I finally found CArhOPS for 86. Kevin draws a bunch of crap and I'm able to shut down the board. 4-3, 381-317.

After day one, I'm 4-3, and in third place behind Andy and Steve who are both 6-1.


Game 8 – Roger Cullman

Roger is my second-most played opponent, behind Vera Bigall. Roger bingoes first with PRETEND but I come right back with OOGE(N)IES which Roger holds but does not challenge. He then plays SHOFAR for 48, which I hold. Roger is notorious for phoneys. Good thing I didn't challenge. I play HOOF for 33 and then bingo with AWAITER(S), which Roger holds but doesn't challenge. Even though I know my hooks, I wasn't 100% sure on AWAITERS but he let it go. The game was close until I played BARBS for 38, hooking the S to HOOF for HOOFS, which Roger challenged. That let me take a lead and win. 5-3, 439-320.


Game 9 – Hilda Schlechter

Until this game, Hilda had been my "Scrabble Daddy" (I had never yet won a game with her.) My opening rack was PRATTLE for 74 but Hilda comes right back with cHANCED, hooking the D to PRATTLE for 85. Three turns later I have the nicest bingo of the tournament. My rack was EELSSTZ and through the P in PRATTLE, I played S(P)ELTZES for 88. Hilda bingoes with DaNGLER but I come back with OTA(L)GIES, which she holds but does not challenge. That gave me a 100-point lead. I followed with OAKUM for 40 and QI for 31 giving me my first win against Hilda, 6-3, 494-381.


Game 10 – Lisa Kessler (second time)

Lisa and I trade early bingos in this rematch. I played ASC(R)IBE and Lisa counters with MASTERS. Lisa gets a 90-point lead until I play ADORNIN(G) for 70, but putting the A in the triple row with a blank unseen. Lisa then attempts DIABLO(S)* which Gene Tzyska had played against me a couple years ago and I knew it was phony. I make a 30-point play to bring me within 10 points, but she comes back with a 30-point play of her own and I have junky tiles at the end. 6-4, 355-388.

So, going into the two KOTH rounds, I'm at 6-4. Andy and Steve are both at 8-2, and they've already played twice as well. There was some kerfuffle about whether or not Andy and Steve should play again in round 11 because they're both two full games ahead of the pack. John Chew (who was not at the tournament all weekend) showed up to settle the matter. Andy and Steve did play in round 11.


Game 11 – Mad Palazzo (second time)

I get out another phony bingo in this game. My rack was EIRSUU?. I could have played USURIEs but instead elected to play U(N)InSURE* as a double-double for 78, which Mad does not challenge. Turns out UNINSURED is good but not U(N)INSURE*. I get the other blank and play FREAkI(E)R for 61, giving me an 80-point lead. I then shut down the board for Mad's potential bingos. Low scoring game. 7-4, 348-300.


Game 12 – Roger Cullman (second time)

Andy and Steve are both 9-2 at this point and guaranteed first and second place. Roger and I are both 7-4, so we're playing for third and fourth.

My opening rack is RANTING. Roger pulls out to an early lead scoring 54 for PEEP and then immediately 68 for ANOXIA. I double-blank bingo with SKAkIlY for 89 but he comes right back with COUNTIN(G). The game goes back and forth until the very end. With one tile in the bag, my rack is ADEIRST and the unseen tile pool is ABEEEIQY. My only bingo would have had to be a nine-letter word through -RE-. Roger has the lead 357-339. After several minutes of thinking, Roger passes his turn. Through the (RE), I play TI(RE)DER for 29, leaving AS on my rack. Roger holds for a while. After a minute I announce that I am going to draw my "provisional tile"... it's the Q. There's an I open (the one I just played), and there's also an open U on the board for me to play QUA if he blocks that. Roger plays BYE for 26. The score is now 374-383 in Roger's favour. I play Q(U)A for 22 (Q on the DLS) clinching victory. Roger now has AEEI on his rack. He plays a phony three-letter word, and I go out with my S. Win 408-383.

A pretty good tournament all in all. I lost 90 rating points in Mississauga, gained back 24 in Guelph and another 60 or so this weekend. Before Mississauga I was 1427 and now I'm 1421, so I'm only down six now.

Other interesting tidbit:

Entry fee for Mississauga: $50.00
Entry fee for Guelph: $25.00
Entry fee for Oshawa: $70.00

Total: $145.00

Winnings in Guelph: $70.00
Winnings in Oshawa: $75.00

Total $145.00

So I played 31 games of Scrabble in the last two weekends, and the only "cost" was my gas and buying my supper at the pub in Guelph. Apart from that, I broke even.

So here in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) we have a highway called the 407ETR (Express Toll Route). Because it's a toll road (and the tolls can be quite exorbitant actually), it's much less travelled than, say the 401 or the Gardiner (the main east-west highways (free) in Toronto.

It typically takes me 45-60 minutes to get to my seminary class at Tyndale Seminary (and it's only about 20 kms). The traffic is bumper to bumper the whole way.

So last night, just for giggles, I took the 427 (the north-west highway at the western border of Toronto) up to the 407ETR and then took the 407 to Bayview Avenue to school. Instead of 45-60 minutes, I got to school in about 20-25 minues.

It will cost me $7.50 to drive those 20 kms (see how exorbitant it is?), because I don't have a transponder in the car -- I have to pay an extra fee for the cameras to read my licence plate. If I have a transponder, the toll would drop to about $4.00. There's a monthly fee of about $1.50 to have the transponder... so one or two uses and it pays for itself. So I've ordered one.

I figure it's worth the $4.00 or so (twice a week this summer, and then once a week from September to April 2010) to save me the time and hassle. After that, I probably won't use the 407 ever again... nor would I use it any other time except to go to class.

Time IS money, after all...